


Keys

by yeaka



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Ficlet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 07:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12836457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: A strange omega stumbles into Todd’s apartment.





	Keys

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Fair warning that I’ve only seen halfway through s1; I just enjoyed myself too much to wait.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

It’s been a shit day in every way it could. His car’s a wreck, his rent isn’t paid—well, it _was_ , but also _isn’t_ —work was awful and he’s mostly likely fired. Well, is definitely fired. But a small part of him is still hoping that he can just show up tomorrow, simply because he needs the job and not at all because he wants to, and maybe no one will notice and all will be forgiven. It’s also far too difficult to get his door open—this whole building’s _shit_.

He gets in somehow, bumbles into his own apartment in the midst of kicking off his shoes, turns to close the door and realizes something’s _off_. He flicks the light on, sniffs the air, turns, and—

The scent of ripe _omega_ hits him like a ton of bricks. Todd stumbles back and actually screams, not at the scent but the sight of a man pulling halfway through his window. The man looks up at his exclamation, smiling brightly. Peach-skinned, brown-haired, about Todd’s age and looking ironically innocent, the man says, “Hi,” and draws out the ‘i’ in a sing-song sort of voice, tinged with a British accent.

The _human being_ takes over Todd’s mind before the _alpha_ can. He bends down to snatch up one shoe, chucking it for the window. The alpha part of him just barely manages to throw off his aim enough that he doesn’t hit the omega in the head. Instead, the warning shot clatters against the sill. It’s enough that the omega cries out and tumbles forward, crashing right onto the floor. Todd takes a step forward, then back, warring with himself—there’s _an intruder in his home_ , but it’s just an omega, and even if Todd’s somewhat small for an alpha, this omega’s hardly any bigger, and Todd _is_ supposed to be the protector...

The omega shoves awkwardly to his feet, brushing off his mustard yellow jacket. The crisp white collar of his shirt hides most of his throat, but Todd already knows this omega isn’t bonded—surely, no alpha would let their omega go popping in through other alpha’s windows. Then the omega starts forward, glancing at the fallen shoe before accusing Todd, “Do you normally attack everyone that comes to visit? Seems like a weird thing to do. But live and let live, I suppose—” He stops when he’s right up to Todd, leaning in to take a strong whiff of Todd’s neck, lewdly forward and naively bubbly all at once. It gives Todd a chance to smell the newcomer in return, and he does smell _lovely_ , raw and intoxicating, having more of an effect on Todd’s self control than most omegas, and he’s never been particularly good at resisting their allure. As the omega tilts his head aside, barring his throat for Todd, Todd leans in right back and—

He snaps to his senses and shoves the omega away. Before he can say anything, the omega splutters, “What the hell, man!”

“What? _You_ what the hell, man?” Todd repeats, and it comes out just as hysterical as it should, as he would be if it weren’t for the omega’s calming scent. “No, _me_ what the hell! What are you doing? Who are you? How’d you get in here?”

“The window, obviously,” the omega chirps, like it’s no big deal and perfectly ordinary. “As for the who, allow me to introduce myself—I’m Dirk Gently, and you are... well, I’m trying to decide what you are.” Then he snatches up Todd’s wrist, pushing back the sleeve of Todd’s ugly bellhop uniform, and staring intently down at the unused scent gland that glistens there. Even through all this craziness, Todd’s body _is_ reacting—not as intensely as an omega’s would, but enough—enough that he’s starting to get hard from omega proximity, even though that’s _insane_ , and it’d be horribly embarrassing if he weren’t so shocked. The omega—Dirk?—mutters, “I’m trying to figure out if you’re an omega friend, a beta assistant, or my alpha.”

Because it should be dead obvious with Todd already getting hard and the whole apartment reeking of his status, Todd says, “I’m an alpha, but—”

“Ah, I thought so!” Dirk cuts him off, grinning so broadly that it almost makes Todd’s heart skip a beat. No omega’s ever looked at him with so much _happiness_ , and that’s wild, because Todd has no clue what’s even going on. Then Dirk dives in, and suddenly his silk-soft lips are brushing over Todd’s, and the alpha in him snaps—he surges back to kiss Dirk harder, earning a lilting mewl before Dirk jerks away again.

“Well,” Dirk reports, abruptly dropping Todd’s hand and marching off towards the couch. “That’s settled, then. I’ll have my heat in about a week or so, so I’ll be staying here.”

“You can’t...” Todd mumbles, only to trail off, because he doesn’t know where to start. He follows Dirk like a zombie, half drawn by hormones and the rest by pure confusion. 

Dirk plops down onto the couch. He sprawls across it like he’s lived there all his life. He takes a moment just to breathe in, then springs back up, kneeling on the end, shoes and all. Todd comes right to the edge, fixed on Dirk’s eyes as Dirk stares up at him. All Todd can manage is, “What?”

“Have you noticed an acceleration of strange things in your life lately?” Dirk counters, tilting his head. He looks somehow both maniacal and adorable all at once. “Perhaps your life has been rather mundane: a humdrum slog through an unfulfilling job, shallow depression, and boring, _boring_ sex?” 

“Well, I—”

“And suddenly today your life became a swirl of interesting activity?”

Todd just _stares_ , because there’s nothing else for it, but Dirk’s eyes widen around the edges, lips stretching in pure delight. Looking very much as though he’s just won the lottery, Dirk announces, “My alpha,” then nods as though congratulating himself and smugly adds, “I knew it.”

Before Todd can protest, Dirk’s lifted up to brush his lips over Todd’s again. Dirk’s hands reach to clutch the garish red lapels of Todd’s jacket, and Todd finds himself drawn into a series of wet, messy kisses that leave him growling for _more_.

Dirk is the one to part them again. Eyes alight, he asks, “You’ll claim me, then?”

A final string of coherent thought has Todd snapping, “No!” Because as bizarrely cute as Dirk is, Todd doesn’t even know him. At all. And Todd’s head is still swimming. 

Dirk wilts for half a second before cheerily trying, “Practice sex for my heat, then?”

Logically, Todd should say no to that too. He has no business dealing with an unknown omega’s heat. But it isn’t that he’s had ‘boring, _boring_ sex’ so much as he hasn’t had any at all, and Dirk’s pheromones are starting to make him dizzy. 

He tells himself it’s _just_ sex and reasons, “Okay—” As Dirk lights up like a star going nova, Todd sharply adds, “But then you have to explain yourself!”

Dirk says, “Oh, absolutely,” as though all he does is give reasonable explanations all day long. Todd doesn’t believe it for a second.

But Todd’s also hungry, so he leans forward anyway to kiss Dirk down into the couch in a swirl of _very_ interesting activity.


End file.
